Saturday, March 31, 2012

Adventures in Fertility and Mortality

Zahie El Kouri had just lost her father and was trying for a baby. Her doctor wasn't making it easier.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I can't believe anyone would criticize a woman who chooses IVF over adoption as 'selfish'. IVF is, from what I've heard, no picnic. What is wrong about wanting one's own biological children? I'm glad the author's story ends with her and her husband having a baby--blessings to them.

Anonymous said...

The author's pacing in this essay is really well done. I also appreciated how each new element added to the depth of the story and her experience. This is a well-crafted piece. Thanks!

lisa robertson said...

So beautiful, and so insightful. And incisive and somehow I think this happens more than anyone would have ever anticipated, but with the changing demographic (older women having babies, aging parents getting sick), this writer captures exactly the weirdness of this situation. Bravo to El Khouri for making so many of us feel less alone.

Anonymous said...

This was heart-breakingly beautifully written. I too lost my father, one month and ten days ago, to a cancer so swift it tore through him in two weeks. Cholangiocarcinoma - bile duct cancer, whose closest cousin is pancreatic cancer. And I look at my almost seven-month-old boy now and I swear I see my father's mouth, his straight-lined smile, and it makes my heart hurt with love and joy and loss. Thank you, Zahie, for this story. I am so glad you have your John and your baby, and I wish you and your family well.

And Brain, Child - I'm so sorry you're not going to be around any more! Please, can't you offer online subscriptions? I would sign up immediately, and tell everyone else I knew. Please!!

eeny meany said...

The notion that adoption is morally superior to biological procreation is an ignorant perspective. Why is it the job of the infertile to fix the overpopulation problem? Adoption can be a hugely painful undertaking. I've done IVF three times. Although it was traumatic, it was less emotionally and financially expensive--much less of a legal quagmire than the adoption process. Neither choice is for the easily discouraged, and neither should be seen as superior to the other.

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AgentP said...

What a incredibly judgmental argument to say that IVF is selfish! There is nothing selfish about wanting bio children; it's the norm for exactly the reasons of bridging the past and the future. If that argument was valid, then natural conception would be selfish as well and we should stop all procreation until all adoptable kids find a home.

Congrats to the author on her baby boy! I only lost one pregnancy and I already had one baby; I can't imagine going through this several times...