Monday, March 7, 2011
Before This
Before she divorced and remarried, Sarah Ivy had three children. When her fourth child comes along, she contemplates all the ways old and new come together in a family.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
16 comments:
Amazing piece, love her writing, her phrasing ( "full on corn silk" hair, her simple phrasing that captures so much ("thousands of arrivals and departures I have saddled them with" ) and most of all, her honesty.
More!!
Wow, Sarah. Thanks for that honest insight. You are a beautiful writer, I really felt it all in the reading.
A wonderful essay by a wonderful writer. Emotional, real, and honest.
I am the mother of this talented writer who has been wanting to do this all of her life. My happiness and pride cup overfloweth.
I am a friend of this beautiful, dear talented writer and can attest to the fact that she has never nor will she ever appear as tired and as drained as she describes herself in this essay. She has an inner light and radiance that is conveyed in her writing and in her soul. I am so proud of her achievements and can't wait to read her book! Love You Honey!
March 10, 2011 4:47 PM
I was so moved by this essay, that I passed it to my brother, who is going through a very sad divorce with two children involved. He is the most "up" person I know, but he said that reading it broke his emotional dam and he wept for a long time. What a gift this writer has!
I am a mother of two children, a daughter from my first marriage; a son with my second husband. We live in this very world this author has so touchingly described...our world of 'her' Daddy and her stepmother and their son; a world where one child 'wins' the lottery (my son) and has both parents together, in love; a world of 'halfs' when all we want is to have each of us feel whole. It is unchartered territory, rife with pitfalls and joys. I savored this piece. Thank you for writing and for sharing.
I have read this essay six times since I received this issue in the mail. The mag has been permanently left open to 'Before This'. This is just a beautiful essay, such descriptive and honest writing about a subject that needs to be discussed more (I think anyway). I have a 19 year old step-son, my own 17 year old son and my husband of 7 years and I have a 4 year old boy and a 1 year old daughter. Sarah Ivy captured EXACTLY the emotions experienced in a yours, mine and ours situation. Her thoughts on how she feels toward the father of her older children are spot on......beautifully done Sarah....I will look for your work from now on. Loved it....
I enjoyed reading this, but it is a bittersweet enjoyment. However, I've known the author for many, many years, and am excited to view this foray into creative writing that she seems quite aptly suited for.
Most often, divorce's effect is not openly contemplated and reviewed in this manner. Certainly close friends or relatives will discuss feelings one on one, or perhaps in a small group, but my experience is that "goes through, recovers from, and forgets about" does not apply to this all-too-common modern familial affliction.
In my own divorced family, consisting of myself and my off-and-on new partner, my remarried ex-spouse, and my two children, the thousands of arrivals and departures seem to be tolerated fairly well, although my daughter is famous for angrily exclaiming, "You don't have to cart your sh*t back and forth all the time!" when I question her about why she didn't do something or doesn't have something she needs at my house.
The feeling of being irreparably damaged goes with the territory, and the weight of the dissolution of the familial entity is an unrelenting burden, years after the fact. It is not only a mother's burden, as this father/former husband can attest to.
Vivid, gutsy and haunting. Wow.
I really loved this piece.
This piece truly gave me shivers. I know the author, and her family and the new view on what I've only witnessed has given me a inner look on a wonderful family. Thank you for sharing this Sarah!
Thank you so much for writing this! I want my life, and my child's life, to be whole again so badly, and I know it won't be, but the pain was alleviated for a little while by reading your article.
I have struggled with this exact situation....divorce, my son not living with me, but instead his wonderful father....a new husband and a new baby. It has been hard for me to give voice to the depth and complexity of my conflictedness. It is hard to find a "community" for this kind of support. This piece had me crying tears of empathy. Thank you.
Sarah, I love your piece. As a mother and a stepmother, you captured so beautifully what so many of us understand, those who have gone through divorce, remarriage, new babies, new families. It's a place that's hard to describe to those who've never been there--but you have done it so eloquently.
Post a Comment