I loved this piece. The writer gets it. By default. Her child will be lucky to have the love and support of parents who will let her find her way with stuttering, and who aren't going to be caught up in finding stuttering utopia. The stuttering community, of which I am a part, has many different views. As Wald points out, some find it to be a gift, but most often it is those who speak fluently, after overcoming stuttering , that say this. Still others want us to believe that we need to work to achieve fluency. This mom has already got it figured out and will be the pillar of support that Charlotte will need. Mom's empowering lesson to hear what the person is saying, and not how it is said, can apply to all people. When you do that, you become present with each person who is talking and you are listening to. You then can see past what is being said, that maybe you want to roll your eyes at, and see the person, the vulnerable human being that we are all. This essay was beautiful. It made me think long and hard about what I have tried to do with my own life of stuttering - at first I hid it, now I embrace it. I try to have it peacefully co-exist with the rest of me, and have it be part of me that helps others. Our lives must have purpose, and Wald's daughter may just find out that her mom's purpose is to remind her daughter and others that there is no stuttering isle, that it is one of the cards some of us are dealt. How we play those cards will determine what kind of person we are and aspire to be. Its not about winning the gane of poker, its about playing the best game you can, without cheating. Bravo for one of the best, most honest articles about stuttering I have seen. Thank you Elisa Wald.
My son suffered with stuttering when he was three and I can still remember the dispair in his eyes when he asked me why his words kept getting stuck. We were fortunate enough to work through his disfluency in part by adopting the speech pattern modifications the author discusses in her piece. Had it gone the other way, I would have done my best to turn his stuttering into a "gift", but that's what parents do. We desperately try to put a silver lining on our children's tragedies, and cross our fingers that everything turns out for the best. Whether the child ever gains the perspective needed to see it as a "gift" is up to the individual and shouldn't be a label thrown out by the well-intentioned.
Ms. Wald should be aware that in addition to John Melendez, so many other people who stutter have lead inspiring lives. I suggest she check out the list of famous people who stutter on the website of the Stuttering Foundation (www.stutteringhelp.org) in addition to their in-depth "Celebrity Corner" profile articles on some of these people. This website has a wealth of info for parents of children who stutter. All parents should definitely explore this site.
I just want to say to Ms. Wald and any other parent of a small child who is beginning to stutter that they act immediately by bringing the child to speech therapy. Parents shouldn't count on the odds of their children being in the 75% of stuttering kids who stop stuttering. Earliest speech therapy is a must.
I highly recommend to all parents of children that they regularly check out the site of The Michael Palin Centre for Stammering Children (www.stammeringcentre.org)as this London-based clinic is on the cutting edge for therapy and reserach for child stuttering.
Each time I read an article like that of Ms. Wald I rejoice that kids today will not grow up in an environment to feel ashamed of stuttering and that there is something "wrong" with them.
I hope Ms. Wald will write more articles as time marches on.
I am always surprised when people talk about a "lack of information." I adopted three children internationally (2 from China, 1 from Korea).
By the time I adopted my first child in 2002, I had read two or three books about adoption (including, Toddler Adoption: A Weaver's Craft), and had attended a couple of seminars that included several sessions on potential problems such as RAD.
My agency, as well as the International Adoption Clinic at Floating Hospital in Boston, made sure we went into adoption with our eyes wide open. I felt like our agency went too far into the there-could-be-problems-you-know camp.
We have had our issues over the years, and continue to. I have never felt there was a dearth of information.
I came here directed from a comment on Sugar's post. I grew up knowing my father stuttered as a kid, but that he overcame it and that was that. Reading this, I know he didn't just "get over it". Although he won't talk about it, I'm glad to read some insight into what it's like.
I also found you via Sugar and I want to thank you for the link. My son has a weird speech thing where he repeats the end of words, but only sometimes. I think its an age thing he will get over but it scares me. It scares me most because I have a cousin who stuttered (not a genetic issue because I'm adopted). I remember watching him be ashamed and wanting so bad to help. He was an older cousin who I admired and I wanted to tell him so much that he was still so cool in my eyes, that I didn't care. I never found the words. I just don't want that for my son. My family thinks I'm overworried about my kid. You wrote exactly how I feel. Thank you.
This was one of the most beautifully written essays I've ever read here. Count me in as another Sugar reader who clicked over. You're an amazing writer, this is so honest and true, I have a daughter with other problems and I really related to your long dark night of no sleep. I have those. Like every mom, like you, I just want my child to be happy. Not great. Happy.
Posts
11 comments:
I loved this piece. The writer gets it. By default. Her child will be lucky to have the love and support of parents who will let her find her way with stuttering, and who aren't going to be caught up in finding stuttering utopia.
The stuttering community, of which I am a part, has many different views. As Wald points out, some find it to be a gift, but most often it is those who speak fluently, after overcoming stuttering , that say this. Still others want us to believe that we need to work to achieve fluency.
This mom has already got it figured out and will be the pillar of support that Charlotte will need. Mom's empowering lesson to hear what the person is saying, and not how it is said, can apply to all people. When you do that, you become present with each person who is talking and you are listening to. You then can see past what is being said, that maybe you want to roll your eyes at, and see the person, the vulnerable human being that we are all. This essay was beautiful.
It made me think long and hard about what I have tried to do with my own life of stuttering - at first I hid it, now I embrace it. I try to have it peacefully co-exist with the rest of me, and have it be part of me that helps others. Our lives must have purpose, and Wald's daughter may just find out that her mom's purpose is to remind her daughter and others that there is no stuttering isle, that it is one of the cards some of us are dealt. How we play those cards will determine what kind of person we are and aspire to be. Its not about winning the gane of poker, its about playing the best game you can, without cheating.
Bravo for one of the best, most honest articles about stuttering I have seen. Thank you Elisa Wald.
My son suffered with stuttering when he was three and I can still remember the dispair in his eyes when he asked me why his words kept getting stuck. We were fortunate enough to work through his disfluency in part by adopting the speech pattern modifications the author discusses in her piece. Had it gone the other way, I would have done my best to turn his stuttering into a "gift", but that's what parents do. We desperately try to put a silver lining on our children's tragedies, and cross our fingers that everything turns out for the best. Whether the child ever gains the perspective needed to see it as a "gift" is up to the individual and shouldn't be a label thrown out by the well-intentioned.
Fantastic piece with so much to relate to. I was inspired to write a blog post about the essay at wantapeanut.blogspot.com.
Ms. Wald should be aware that in addition to John Melendez, so many other people who stutter have lead inspiring lives. I suggest she check out the list of famous people who stutter on the website of the Stuttering Foundation (www.stutteringhelp.org) in addition to their in-depth "Celebrity Corner" profile articles on some of these people. This website has a wealth of info for parents of children who stutter. All parents should definitely explore this site.
I just want to say to Ms. Wald and any other parent of a small child who is beginning to stutter that they act immediately by bringing the child to speech therapy. Parents shouldn't count on the odds of their children being in the 75% of stuttering kids who stop stuttering. Earliest speech therapy is a must.
I highly recommend to all parents of children that they regularly check out the site of The Michael Palin Centre for Stammering Children (www.stammeringcentre.org)as this London-based clinic is on the cutting edge for therapy and reserach for child stuttering.
Each time I read an article like that of Ms. Wald I rejoice that kids today will not grow up in an environment to feel ashamed of stuttering and that there is something "wrong" with them.
I hope Ms. Wald will write more articles as time marches on.
I am always surprised when people talk about a "lack of information." I adopted three children internationally (2 from China, 1 from Korea).
By the time I adopted my first child in 2002, I had read two or three books about adoption (including, Toddler Adoption: A Weaver's Craft), and had attended a couple of seminars that included several sessions on potential problems such as RAD.
My agency, as well as the International Adoption Clinic at Floating Hospital in Boston, made sure we went into adoption with our eyes wide open. I felt like our agency went too far into the there-could-be-problems-you-know camp.
We have had our issues over the years, and continue to. I have never felt there was a dearth of information.
I came here directed from a comment on Sugar's post. I grew up knowing my father stuttered as a kid, but that he overcame it and that was that. Reading this, I know he didn't just "get over it". Although he won't talk about it, I'm glad to read some insight into what it's like.
nice article
UK EscortsSydnet Escorts
I also found you via Sugar and I want to thank you for the link. My son has a weird speech thing where he repeats the end of words, but only sometimes. I think its an age thing he will get over but it scares me. It scares me most because I have a cousin who stuttered (not a genetic issue because I'm adopted). I remember watching him be ashamed and wanting so bad to help. He was an older cousin who I admired and I wanted to tell him so much that he was still so cool in my eyes, that I didn't care. I never found the words. I just don't want that for my son. My family thinks I'm overworried about my kid. You wrote exactly how I feel. Thank you.
This was one of the most beautifully written essays I've ever read here. Count me in as another Sugar reader who clicked over. You're an amazing writer, this is so honest and true, I have a daughter with other problems and I really related to your long dark night of no sleep. I have those. Like every mom, like you, I just want my child to be happy. Not great. Happy.
Post a Comment