There's lots and lots of talk about infidelity these days -- but oddly enough, not much discussion of where kids come in to the picture. If a parent cheats, should the children know about it? If so, when and how much?
Meagan Francis investigates.
Friday, September 4, 2009
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2 comments:
My parents divorced when I was in fifth grade and there was a lot of speculation from my mother's family and friends that he had cheated. He did quickly remarry after the divorce. My mother, her family, and friends looked at me as a traitor because I did not cast blame on my father and hate him for leaving my mother. I purposely chose to not know the truth. I knew that my parents marriage had failed and had been failing for some time. I knew that no-one was happy. The dissolution of their marriage just seemed like a foregone conclusion to me. Dealing with divorced parents was better for me than trying to survive in an unhealthy, and unhappy family unit. This being said, I have lived my adult life feeling very judgemental toward cheaters and I have sworn to myself never to cheat or divorce. I know at times I have been irrational and completely judgemental. And, I know exactly where, when, and why those feelings developed.
I thought the way of communicating with children outlined by this article: ALWAYS honesty, with events described according to the children's ability to understand, is commendable and very pertinent to today's sugar-coated western kid-culture.
I suppose this strategy is equally applicable in many other adverse circumstances... illness (physical and mental), death, etc. Or do you think there are things we simply must shield our children from knowing about at all costs?
On a lighter note, I wonder how this fits in with the Santa Claus debate?
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