The boy who won’t carry a teddy bear
5 hours ago
Thursday, October 16, 2008
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9 comments:
This is a wonderful piece. Dionne writes with simple, sharp as a bell, clarity, on topics that are not usually so easy to discuss. It IS still harder to be black.
I too am a little disappointed that Obama identifies himself as black, and not biracial. But I was shocked out of my seat when McCain commented on how Obama would never have been allowed to attend a particular fund raising dinner many years ago, and that it was wonderful that he was present now. I thought we were past even having to pass comment. I expect all people to be able to go anywhere or do anything they like now- within the law. I felt it was a very disingenuous way of reminding everyone that they would be making history if they elected Obama. McCain is banking on the hope that many people are afraid of that kind of REAL change. I want all of our children to grow up feeling that it is just as easy to be any race. I hope that Obama's election will move us towards that.
Dionne's piece entertains, and at the same time makes us think. That is the best kind of writing.
I see Rachael Quinn's neutral approach to racial identity with respect to her daughter as a copout. While I can appreciate the hard experiences of her past, the expressed desire to “be white” seems like nothing more than an exercise in denial. It is clear, from the tone of this essay that Ms. Quinn has yet to come to terms with her own issues regarding race. And, albeit intentionally, may pass on a legacy of black self hatred. In my opinion, embracing the black part of biracial identity often presents the greater challenge because black people as a whole are not equally represented and/or celebrated in many facets of main stream America. For that reason, as the parent representing the marginalized half of your daughter’s identity, it is imperative that you approach this issue from a position of pride, sharing both your experiences and the lessons learned.
I see Rachael Quinn's neutral approach to racial identity with respect to her daughter as a copout. While I can appreciate the hard experiences of her past, the expressed desire to “be white” seems like nothing more than an exercise in denial. It is clear, from the tone of this essay that Ms. Quinn has yet to come to terms with her own issues regarding race. And, albeit unintentionally, may pass on a legacy of black self hatred. In my opinion, embracing the black part of biracial identity often presents the greater challenge because black people as a whole are not equally represented and/or celebrated in many facets of main stream America. For that reason, as the parent representing the marginalized half of your daughter’s identity, it is imperative that you approach this issue from a position of pride, sharing both your experiences and the lessons learned.
This is a great article and very timely for me. My four year old son, who is biracial (my husband is white and I am black) recently told me that he is white. I too wanted him to make his own choice about his race, but I expected that choice to be black or biracial. I wish I weren't disappointed, but I am. It has made me start to question my feelings about race - shouldn't it be ok for him to white, just as it is ok for him to be blaclk.
What I find interesting is that many biracial (black & white) children's features become increasing( or subtly) more "black" over time. I have blond hair,blue eyes, and dominant European features but in the company of white people fall into the category of "other". White people are rarely confused about what box I should check. If anything the see me as safe because I am less likely to confront them about their percieved stereotypes about black people or people of color in general.
I am bi-racial (black and white) and my husband is also mixed (black, white and native american), so our naturally our children are mixed as well. Although my husband and I identify as African-American, we have tought our children that they are "brown" - a proud mixture of several races. My now 7 year old son has fair skin, blond hair and green eyes. At the age of 5 he too thought he was white - because he looks more white than black. He now recognizes that he is brown. My 10 year old daughter is also fair, but calls herself brown and claims to be African-American. She sees a distinction, however, between herself and other darker-skinned African-Americans, whom she calls black. The bottom line is, being mixed is complex. For mixed children their identity is about both race and color, which can be two very different concepts.
As a child of a white mother and black father, I can relate to the author, but I am also surprised at her strong desire that her daughter identify herself as black - when she clearly is not. Yes, she is African-American, yes, she is caucasian, but she is not white, nor is she black - she is brown. A 5 year old child does not understand issues of race - she sees colors. She looks in the mirror and sees a brown girl, not the darker skin of her mother or the white skin of her father. When told that she is both black and white, she sees neither in the mirror, but feels compelled to identify with one of the only two choices she is given. In this case, choosing white is easiest. Why does this little girl have to be "both black and white" - why can't she be brown?
We appreciated your article and interview on Here-Now. As board members of the Association of MultiEthnic Americans, we wanted to share the following resources with you: www.mixedheritagecenter.org, www.amea.org, and www.mavinfoundation.org We also speak as a couple and parents of two multiracial daughters 17 and 13
Kelley and Mark Kenney
This was a great article. While I am not biracial, my mother's people on her mother's side were East Indian, Native American, Caucasion. On her father's side, Native American, Caucasion and African-American.
My mother is very fair with straight hair, my father the deepest dark Chocolate. My mother often told me she did that on purpose because she never wanted anyone to question what my brother, sister and I were. I still had issues, and yes they included riding my tricycle with my light yellow security blanket draped on my head (this was in 1972) in our all white neighborhood. My mother was horrified.
I think that as time goes on, the author's daughter will figure it out. Her mother will not have to tell her. Unfortunately society will let her know exactly who they think she should be.
This morning my daughter had Muffins w/ mom at her school and she refused to speak to anyone becuse they would know her mommy was "brown." I went home and cried, later learning that she told everyone her dad was white. He has a light complexion but is not white. She was teased at the black school for being light but is ashamed to be brown at the white school. I feel like we do not fit in anywhere.
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